Manhattan
by creativity0
Summary: Leaving is never easy but for the people you love you do whatever needs to be done. Post 4x19: 47 Seconds; no stewardess here *shudders*. Inspired by Sara Bareilles' song.


_I don't have a beta so if you find something that needs fixing, let me know. :)_

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As he waited in line for the security checkpoint he was hit with the emptiness of leaving. This wasn't just another business trip. He wouldn't be back in a week. This was it and it felt as if he was leaving part of him behind. Half of who he wished to be.

The moment he made up his mind he noticed the world around him being reduced to dull colors, and black and white. This was not what he hoped for but he would endure it. It was for the best. Give her space, time; whatever she needed he would give it to her. Room for somebody else. He wouldn't impose; he couldn't keep making the same mistakes out of fear.

This wasn't ideal, far from it, but maybe this could work for him. Maybe it would serve as a different kind of inspiration. Maybe he would go through his own blue period after all that red. Yes, maybe this would work, the second best thing.

"Where are you flying to today, sir?" asked the bulky TSA agent as he took the boarding pass and ID, startling him out of his thoughts.

"California. LA" he replied without much enthusiasm. The agent looked at him, at his ID, scribbled something on the boarding pass and gave it all back to him.

"Okay, all good. Have a nice flight. And, Mr. Castle, I love your books." the guy offered with a smile. "Can't wait for the next one."

"Thank you. I appreciate it" Castle smile back, but it didn't reach his eyes. Some other day it would have made his day, just not today. So instead of giving it much thought he busied himself with the security routine.

_All clear._

California wouldn't be that bad. 5 months supervising the filming of Naked Heat. Supervising what doesn't need to be supervised, at least not by him. But after the delays in the first movie with Natalie Rhodes' rehab vacations and the delay in contract negotiations for the second one, they were gracious enough to accept his request.

He sighed heavily as he sat down at his gate. It couldn't be that bad; warm pleasant weather, the beach so near, the sand beneath his feet as he watched the sun hiding itself in the ocean every night. And then hopefully after those 5 months he would go on a nationwide book tour for the next Nikki Heat book.

He wouldn't have to think about coming back for a year. His mother and Alexis would visit him, they'd gone through that. He wouldn't have to come back but he would miss it. Every day. He was going to miss his city. Because that's what he was allowed to miss. New York City.

He would miss the buildings; the familiar brownstones and the huge skyscrapers. The way the sunlight bounced off of one of those skyscrapers as they walked down a street, catching her at just the right angle and it left him speechless in awe of her. The way the sunrays hit her hair giving her a halo of light, her eyes getting greener because of the brightness as she squinted slightly. Just the corners of her eyes - the left one closing a little bit more than the right one.

He would miss all the bustle. The livelihood of the island. How every now and then, usually after a case, she would get lost in observing the people going about their routines and her lips would turn slightly upwards, no worries in her mind. And for those brief and rare moments he just couldn't look away from her, taking it all in.

He would miss the weather too, especially fall in the city. Something in the air changed and the atmosphere seemed to calm down back to a steady rhythm. And as the weather changed day to day so did her outfits. The mystery of what laid beneath her coat. And there was something about seeing her choices and how somehow it could clue him in to what her mood was that never tired him.

Yes, he would miss the city. _That'_s what he was allowed to miss.

He closed his eyes. There was no going back now he had to keep putting one foot in front of the other until he reached the inside of that plane. But that wouldn't be for another 30 minutes. For now he could sit here and miss what he still hadn't left behind.

Sighing one more time, he fished his phone out of his pocket, shifting his weight forward and bracing his elbows on his knees. No new messages and no missed calls. His shoulders hunched and his head hung low.

"I guess this is goodbye" he whispered to the device without actually meaning to.

He felt the lone traitorous tear form in his eye a second before it hit the carpet at his feet.


End file.
